Albert- my grandfather's best man- part of his tank-crew and best friend. Gave his life in WWII. When their tank was blown up.
A mourning veil of grey mist shrouds the lake.
Blowing in the winds icy breath.
Not this wind’s blue tongue that causes the frail body to shiver, and gooseflesh to appear on sallow skin.
Nor the flickering light of the lantern,
That casts light on the great gnarled fingers of the forest bones, white against the night sky.
His hands, cracked and fingernails, broken and bleeding carry.
Cold nails of forest ancients, picking at the cloak on his back, unhappy with this deadly pursuit.
“Go back,” they whisper.
“Hurry, run for your life, Go Back!”
Wise field mice take heed the warning and run blindly into the night, over rotting boots.
Wet leaves mix with sweaty, wool socks that slip in the forest tomb.
A branch breaks, somewhere near.
Wary eyes open wide, and strain in the darkness, seeing nothing.
A rustle of leaves under a bush and his breath rattles in the lungs.
Entering and leaving all too quickly- for fear of his being the last.
Lantern swings wildly and catches a glimmer,
Yellow eyes pierce the soul.
“Who goes there?” seeps from chapped lips.
Whooo, Whooo. echos the grey owl perched on a mouse, under the bush.
Breath returns to a relieved body, his mind laughing with madness.
So silly to be scared of nothing.
I would like to wish all of you, a very happy and healthy Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada. It is with the changing of the seasons that brings pause and reflection. How are we doing in our lives?
What are we doing with our lives? Are we successful? Are we healthy? Are we happy or in love?
This coming together of families and friends, can also add extra stress, that is not always able to be avoided. Never fear, you can survive the holidays. By taking a step back from situations.
Keeping in touch with emotions and stressful thoughts that occur by journaling or talking to a sympathetic ear.
This will help in putting these thoughts and emotions in perspective.
Some of you may know this already, but I have struggled with an eating disorder for over 16 years, and have been in recovery for just over 1 year
now. So I can understand that holidays for many can be stressful. I would like to share some tips, that mirror- mirror.org( an eating disorder support website) has posted to help survive the holidays.
I think they bode well for everyone.
Make a list of things you can do to help relax and distract yourself from the feelings of fullness after a big meal. e.g. go for a walk, take a bath, read, visit a friend, go for a drive, etc.
.http://www.mirror-mirror.org/holiday.htm
Another tip I always find useful is to have an advocate with you. Could be a parent or sibling or spouse. Someone who you can talk to if you are feeling overwhelmed and come up with an action plan. My favorite is a secret signal, that I use with them, to change the topic.
Also works when Uncle Harry goes on about fishing too long.
It is one day, the day will pass like all the others. Be mindful of comparing your life to others when catching up with the family. There are many ways to define success, and you are no better or worse than anyone at that table. We each live our own lives that contain good times and bad, happiness and sorrow.
Please be kind to yourselves over the holidays and let us all give thanks for the blessings in our lives.
I sit at night in front of the computer, from 10 at night to 4:30 in the morning as I try to tap into the stream of unconscious around me. The river of dreams that surround me, yet rush by untouched. I guess it is my attempt to reach in and drink from that creative life giving water. I feel there is a stillness during this time.
Even if I am out at a club with friends I find this peace within the constant beat of the DJs set, and a whisper of melody can send me to that place of dreams.
I was always “connected” you could say. As a child in Grades 1 to 4 I was often caught daydreaming in class. This attachment to the dream world has remained strong for me. Now as a writer there is a catharsis for me and a wonderful sensation making dreams physical. Giving birth in the quite hours of the morning. No planing, simply tapping in and letting the river flow from dream to written word.
The idea of storytelling appeals to me for a couple of reasons. One of the most interesting is how we being humankind are the only species on the planet that use various methods of storytelling whether written or drawn or told through song and dance or spoken word to describe past and future events. However for me the stories of fictitious events and how they evolved from explaining the unknown to us to entertainment is what really fascinates me.
It is who we are, where we come from and where we are going. The medium changes but the objective does not. From campfires and cave walls to movies and podcasts the stories we tell connect us in a way that to me is perhaps the original magic of the old world.
My favorite activity as a writer I think has got to be free writing. Where you simply write for 5 or 10 minutes nonstop. No editing, no stopping. It is a great way to work through writers block, or learn something new about a character, or my favorite is finding a new story. I tend to have a few projects that were developed from free writing exercises.
I think for myself that writing poetry or in prose is the hardest challenge for me. I sometimes am able to write poems but I am far more comfortable writing stories or screenplays. I think even plays would be easier than poetry. I admire people who have a talent for it. To capture a picture with a select set of words in a certain order. I find my voice tends to be more action and character driven. I don’t think I have the vocabulary required to be a really good poetry writer. Maybe though one of these nights I will find the words.
The Collection - Detective Jones
Part 3
A Fortuitous Birthday
By Margaret Shields
On August 22nd, Elijah Russell was convinced it was his lucky day. Not because it was his 31st birthday, nor was it the five dollars he found in the parking lot on his way to work that morning at PepCom the States Level four Bio lab. No it was because he had, one week ago visited the city of Los Angeles’ best Psychic. The one his cousin Rita had sworn knew about her having twin boys when the doctor’s said she was barren. It was a little sketchy with the neon hand in the window above the the pizza joint on the corner of sunset and vine...the darker part of L.A.
Now though it seemed the twenty dollars plus ten dollar tip was all worth the prediction. The Psychic, Clara had foretold of a fortuitous birthday for Elijah. Clara had looked at his hand, studying the lines in his palm with liquid blue eyes and said today would mark a significant change in his life and to be bold.
To be bold... Elijah had turned that phrase over in his mind all week. As he ran 3 miles after work, as he did his grocery shopping ( mainly consisting of Swanson’s frozen dinners, and Pepsi Cola.) As he played WarCraft on the computer. To be bold.
Maybe that was what gave Elijah the extra courage to talk to Chelsea the five foot seven drop dead blond receptionist, as he grabbed a Red Bull from the vending machine. Elijah entertained Ronnie and James with the tale over pizza in the I.T. office of PepCom. His coworkers and best friends had bought him tickets to the Star trek Convention in Las Vegas. Yes indeed this was his lucky day.
“This is amazing!” Elijah grabbed Ronnie’s laptop off his desk and shook it excitedly.
“ Chelsea doesn’t notice if your alive unless your Jim Forester”
“ Who is Jim Forester?” interrupted James, pouring hot sauce on his pizza slice.
“ Jim, you know the Federal Agent.” Elijah replied.
“ No” James folded two pieces of pizza in half and took a huge bite.
“ Jim the F.B.I. Agent He was the one that discovered the Ebola virus in a suitcase in LAX. He was on the news..” Ronnie explained.
“ Nope, not ringing any bells.” continued James
“ The jerk that double parked you twice in the parking lot and than made a big deal of having the notes on the lab techies computer fully and completely erased by professionals. After all we can’t have the security of the United States of America compromised” continued Ronnie.
“ Oh him!” James clued in. “Yeah, I hate that guy!”
Ignoring the guys sidetrack Elijah continued his rant over Chelsea’s attention.
“Or Chase in toxicology. He has no right to look that good in a lab coat!”
“Dude, when have you looked at Chase that way?” joked Ronnie, grabbing his Blackberry and off his desk and checking it’s messages with the emails on his screen.
“ Don’t you think its overkill him wining the California surfing championship?” moaned Elijah
“Yeah, man he’s an overachiever” James choked out of a mouth full of pizza.
“ Do you think Chelsea will come to the bar tonight with us?” asked Elijah cleaning up the pizza boxes.
“ Well,” Ronnie thought for a moment, “ What did she say when you asked man?”
“ She said she might stop by.”
“ Alright! Our man El is finally going to lose his virginity!” whopped James.
“ Shut up man.” Elijah threw a Pepsi can at him, James caught it midair.
The office phone rings on Elijah’s desk. “ IT department have you tried rebooting?... No there is no any key on the keyboard...you just need to hit any of the keys to continue...no, yes that’s right. Okay. Yes it is an inconvenience and terribly misleading sir. Okay now. Bye.”
“ Now, lets get serious men.” Ronnie standing up between the two men and placing his hands on Elijah’s shoulders.
“ When Chelsea said she might stop by, did she look you straight in the eyes?”
“ Well I think so, I wasn’t trying to stare..”
“ Did she lean forward” Ronnie went on, not waiting for an answer.
“ Did she flip her hair?, or lick her lips? Did she match your body language?”
“ My what” asked Elijah.
“ Your body language. I heard if they match you they want you man!”
“ I don’t know, I don’t really remember.”
“ Were her breasts plump?” continued Ronnie.
“ Her brea... What does that have to do with anything Ron?” Elijah broke away from Ronnie and returned to his desk.
“ Go easy on him Ron” came James’ voice from behind a bank of computer monitors.
The bar was pretty quite for a Thursday night. A handful of people were watching a football game and a couple of guys were playing pool. Ronnie had promised Elijah that this place would fill up after the game. But as Elijah waited for James and Ronnie who were apparently picking up a surprise for him. He sipped his beer surveying the bar again and wasn’t so sure the place would be packed with hot chicks man.
✎
Ronnie and James walk in and hand Elijah a fanny pack with the words BARSTAR emblazoned in gold lamee.
“ What is this?” looking form one man to the other.
“ This is what Barstars wear when they pick up chicks!” Ronnie explained “ It has everything you need for a night of conquest. Condoms, lube, even a sented candle and matches!”
“ Dude, I somehow don’t think this is going to attract girls, Oh why can’t we be like normal guys.”
“ Because we are computer geeks, and due to our lack of social skills we are isolated from normal society. I think it comes down to intimedation.”
“ For us or them?”
“ I for one am intimedated”
“ If only women came with a user manual.”
“It is a higher calling we do. Working the inner dealings of systems far more advanced than many people will ever understand. After all you need a certain IQ to deal with the applications we work with let alone how we adapt them.”
After an unsuccessful night trying to pick up women Ronnie and James headed home, Chelsea had arrived when they were leaving and Elijah stayed to have one more drink with her. She finally called a cab and when she asked him if he wanted to share the ride. A sudden wave of nausea swept over him and the long day of work and drinks had finally caught up with him. And watched her walk out of the bar.
Its probably best I walk home anyway, it will be good to get some fresh air. Elijah thought to himself as he grabbed his jacket and left the bar.
A little more than a mile down the road he began to regret that decision as it began to hail. He pulled his t-shirt up over his head to soften the blow of the ice pellets.
Wet and tired he looked up to see headlights in the distance and decided to signal for a ride. Clara had said to be bold, and as of yet nothing that had happened today seemed like it would change his life significantly So he thought to himself what the heck?
The car slowed down and Elijah ran across the dark road, nearly slipping on the ice. a the passenger side window rolled down Elijah leaned over and peered into the dark interior of the midnight blue mustang, wondering to himself if this was really such a good idea after all.
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My Grandfather's tank crew
