The Collection - Detective Jones
Part 3
A Fortuitous Birthday
By Margaret Shields
On August 22nd, Elijah Russell was convinced it was his lucky day. Not because it was his 31st birthday, nor was it the five dollars he found in the parking lot on his way to work that morning at PepCom the States Level four Bio lab. No it was because he had, one week ago visited the city of Los Angeles’ best Psychic. The one his cousin Rita had sworn knew about her having twin boys when the doctor’s said she was barren. It was a little sketchy with the neon hand in the window above the the pizza joint on the corner of sunset and vine...the darker part of L.A.
Now though it seemed the twenty dollars plus ten dollar tip was all worth the prediction. The Psychic, Clara had foretold of a fortuitous birthday for Elijah. Clara had looked at his hand, studying the lines in his palm with liquid blue eyes and said today would mark a significant change in his life and to be bold.
To be bold... Elijah had turned that phrase over in his mind all week. As he ran 3 miles after work, as he did his grocery shopping ( mainly consisting of Swanson’s frozen dinners, and Pepsi Cola.) As he played WarCraft on the computer. To be bold.
Maybe that was what gave Elijah the extra courage to talk to Chelsea the five foot seven drop dead blond receptionist, as he grabbed a Red Bull from the vending machine. Elijah entertained Ronnie and James with the tale over pizza in the I.T. office of PepCom. His coworkers and best friends had bought him tickets to the Star trek Convention in Las Vegas. Yes indeed this was his lucky day.
“This is amazing!” Elijah grabbed Ronnie’s laptop off his desk and shook it excitedly.
“ Chelsea doesn’t notice if your alive unless your Jim Forester”
“ Who is Jim Forester?” interrupted James, pouring hot sauce on his pizza slice.
“ Jim, you know the Federal Agent.” Elijah replied.
“ No” James folded two pieces of pizza in half and took a huge bite.
“ Jim the F.B.I. Agent He was the one that discovered the Ebola virus in a suitcase in LAX. He was on the news..” Ronnie explained.
“ Nope, not ringing any bells.” continued James
“ The jerk that double parked you twice in the parking lot and than made a big deal of having the notes on the lab techies computer fully and completely erased by professionals. After all we can’t have the security of the United States of America compromised” continued Ronnie.
“ Oh him!” James clued in. “Yeah, I hate that guy!”
Ignoring the guys sidetrack Elijah continued his rant over Chelsea’s attention.
“Or Chase in toxicology. He has no right to look that good in a lab coat!”
“Dude, when have you looked at Chase that way?” joked Ronnie, grabbing his Blackberry and off his desk and checking it’s messages with the emails on his screen.
“ Don’t you think its overkill him wining the California surfing championship?” moaned Elijah
“Yeah, man he’s an overachiever” James choked out of a mouth full of pizza.
“ Do you think Chelsea will come to the bar tonight with us?” asked Elijah cleaning up the pizza boxes.
“ Well,” Ronnie thought for a moment, “ What did she say when you asked man?”
“ She said she might stop by.”
“ Alright! Our man El is finally going to lose his virginity!” whopped James.
“ Shut up man.” Elijah threw a Pepsi can at him, James caught it midair.
The office phone rings on Elijah’s desk. “ IT department have you tried rebooting?... No there is no any key on the keyboard...you just need to hit any of the keys to continue...no, yes that’s right. Okay. Yes it is an inconvenience and terribly misleading sir. Okay now. Bye.”
“ Now, lets get serious men.” Ronnie standing up between the two men and placing his hands on Elijah’s shoulders.
“ When Chelsea said she might stop by, did she look you straight in the eyes?”
“ Well I think so, I wasn’t trying to stare..”
“ Did she lean forward” Ronnie went on, not waiting for an answer.
“ Did she flip her hair?, or lick her lips? Did she match your body language?”
“ My what” asked Elijah.
“ Your body language. I heard if they match you they want you man!”
“ I don’t know, I don’t really remember.”
“ Were her breasts plump?” continued Ronnie.
“ Her brea... What does that have to do with anything Ron?” Elijah broke away from Ronnie and returned to his desk.
“ Go easy on him Ron” came James’ voice from behind a bank of computer monitors.
The bar was pretty quite for a Thursday night. A handful of people were watching a football game and a couple of guys were playing pool. Ronnie had promised Elijah that this place would fill up after the game. But as Elijah waited for James and Ronnie who were apparently picking up a surprise for him. He sipped his beer surveying the bar again and wasn’t so sure the place would be packed with hot chicks man.
✎
Ronnie and James walk in and hand Elijah a fanny pack with the words BARSTAR emblazoned in gold lamee.
“ What is this?” looking form one man to the other.
“ This is what Barstars wear when they pick up chicks!” Ronnie explained “ It has everything you need for a night of conquest. Condoms, lube, even a sented candle and matches!”
“ Dude, I somehow don’t think this is going to attract girls, Oh why can’t we be like normal guys.”
“ Because we are computer geeks, and due to our lack of social skills we are isolated from normal society. I think it comes down to intimedation.”
“ For us or them?”
“ I for one am intimedated”
“ If only women came with a user manual.”
“It is a higher calling we do. Working the inner dealings of systems far more advanced than many people will ever understand. After all you need a certain IQ to deal with the applications we work with let alone how we adapt them.”
After an unsuccessful night trying to pick up women Ronnie and James headed home, Chelsea had arrived when they were leaving and Elijah stayed to have one more drink with her. She finally called a cab and when she asked him if he wanted to share the ride. A sudden wave of nausea swept over him and the long day of work and drinks had finally caught up with him. And watched her walk out of the bar.
Its probably best I walk home anyway, it will be good to get some fresh air. Elijah thought to himself as he grabbed his jacket and left the bar.
A little more than a mile down the road he began to regret that decision as it began to hail. He pulled his t-shirt up over his head to soften the blow of the ice pellets.
Wet and tired he looked up to see headlights in the distance and decided to signal for a ride. Clara had said to be bold, and as of yet nothing that had happened today seemed like it would change his life significantly So he thought to himself what the heck?
The car slowed down and Elijah ran across the dark road, nearly slipping on the ice. a the passenger side window rolled down Elijah leaned over and peered into the dark interior of the midnight blue mustang, wondering to himself if this was really such a good idea after all.
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